The blessings of marriage, beauty of Maine should extend to all of us
August 7, 2009
ABOUT THE AUTHOR : Eve Allegra Raimon is a professor of Arts & Humanities at the University of Southern Maine's Lewiston-Auburn College.
Voters in South Portland have the dubious distinction of being asked to register their views on two seemingly very different referendum questions this Nov. 3:
In addition to the No on One marriage equality issue that will be on the ballot statewide, we South Portlanders (aka SoPo) are also being asked whether we want to ban dogs at Willard Beach during the warm months of the year and keep them on leashes the rest of the time.
As a lesbian dog owner, I find myself torn, my spare time disappearing as I try to split my energies between these two separate plebiscites.
How is a concerned citizen supposed to divide her time trying to influence the outcome on both questions?
Now, I've spoken to some people who are active on the marriage issue who don't understand why I might have a hard time knowing how to apportion my limited volunteer time.
"How can dogs on the beach be as important to you as gay marriage?" they wonder.
The truth is that in my daily life the dog ban will have a much more dramatic effect on my daily routine than the marriage bill. When I told this to a friend, though, she reminded me that since I've never been allowed to marry, the dog ban would, in her words, have more effect on my "known world."
That is, as a dog owner, I'm keenly aware of the joys of walking my dog on the beach. But as a lesbian, I can't actually know what the benefits of marriage feel like because I've never been allowed to wed.
My friend's insight started me thinking: "Might these issues have anything larger in common? And not just for dog owners and lesbians or gay men?"
Since I'm volunteering for both efforts, I've offered a tongue-in-cheek way to combine them: I've told both campaigns that my partner and I would be glad to hold a joint fundraiser. We've said we'd be happy to host a party for the rights of "gay dogs to marry on Willard Beach."
Then we realized that language might confuse too many potential donors, what with the bogus claims of bestiality and all.
Still, these two referendums in which I am deeply invested made me think that they may indeed have some things in common. And then it occurred to me: community.
The "No" votes on both issues – to preserve the existing law that permits lesbians and gay men to marry and the current laws in South Portland allowing dogs on Willard Beach – favor the common good over advantages reserved for only some Mainers.
In the case of dogs on Willard Beach, the campaign to defeat the ban has made me realize that it's about more than being able to walk my dog on a beautiful beach; it's as much about the feeling of neighborliness and belonging I feel being able to chat with fellow dog owners from the area, even though I usually find out their dog's name months before I do theirs.
It's about feeling confident that I will run into acquaintances on the beach who will gradually become friends; it's about a feeling of shared stewardship over a spectacular piece of nature, and joining with others in efforts to preserve its ever-changing, but ever-present magnificence.
With respect to voting "No" to preserve the freedom to marry, I see that question as a matter of community as well – though in this case the community reaches throughout the state.
Even so, some similar questions arise: How generous are we going to be with our fellow Mainers? Will we extend the rights that some enjoy to all members of our Maine community? Do some members of a community – whether a small city or a state – deserve to have more rights?
What will really be lost if more people are allowed to marry? Is there any evidence that the extension of those rights has hurt people in those states where same-sex marriage is now legal?
In the end, the question of safeguarding the rights of a community to bring their dogs to the beach and the question of marriage equality come down to some pretty simple common values:
Do we share the blessings of marriage and the beauty of Maine with all of our neighbors? Do we foster community or do we divide it? A "No" vote on both measures will ensure that Maine continues to be "the way life should be" for everyone.
